one hoop nose ring, size 4 wood plugs, endless cups of coffee, and way too many psychoanalyzation sessions later, she refound herself.

Today I found out that the boy I'd recently been involved with, exchanged "i love yous", and ripped myself away from just three weeks ago because of him being scared to0 date me due to the immediate inevitable sincerity and the whole situation turning into a certain "love triangle", is now dating the girl who not only was the third party in that love triangle, but also someone he told me he only continued talking to because he knew if he stopped, she would probably quite literally commit suicide.

Granted, I haven written a blog in quite some time and granted, I'm now restarting on an immature rant over stupid boy issues, but I write better when I'm angry, and I think today marked a final day of revelation for me.

Sometimes you have to have your heart truly torn out of your chest, stomped on, thrown in a blender, soaked in lemon juice, then tarred, feathered, and sand papered before you can truly move on. Sometimes it takes hating someone for how much pain they've caused you to realize that you need to stop focusing on relationships and move the hell on with your life.

The last three weeks have been fantastic. Cutting myself off from an entire group of friends has never felt so satisfying. Finishing school, working my ass off, and only socializing with a select few "gems" has left me feeling on top of the world and for the first time in four years I truly feel that I don't need a member of the opposite sex to fill a gap in my life.

And today just solidified that fact.

I'm ready to take on the world. I'm thirsty for experiences. And in the end, due to my actions through the past six months, if no one believes in me, I still have hope. I have hope for myself. That I'm bigger than all this and I don't want to care about others' opinions. I'm ready to do things for me, not to impress anybody.

I'm tired of talking about it. I'm ready to do. Be a new me.